Hold my breath and count to ten.

I've been thinking a lot, nothing bad, don't worry too much. It still hasn't hit me that this summer isn't like the rest. Where did time go? Summer is almost over and my brithday is taking forever to come! You know when you go to a coffee shop and you see people drinking coffee and sitting there on their laptop, I want to do that (now that I have a laptop). I always picture sitting there, typing away how I feel and listening to the music they play. I absolutely love John Mayer, Daughters is my favorite song, I'm currently listening to it as I type :]. It's music that is relaxing, you'll never hear Lil' Wayne in Starbucks. How funny would that be, haha! Music has definitely put meaning into my life, kind of like watching a movie. What is a movie without music, a movie with no mood. Especially those girly movies, they always play the best songs! I enjoy watching chick flicks, but that stuff never happens in real life. Guys don't run after girls anymore, going out of their way to get the girl they've been wanting. Girls love watching movies like that, obviously, because they want a guy like that. Hello Boys, Wake up, learn to be gentlemen. I only say that because I know a bunch of guys who still act like they are 16. High school is over and you have to grow up and mature. I think guys are immature because they hide their feelings. Why in the world is a guy going to act immature around a girl ? Unless he is just really stupid. I really do not understand the opposite sex. I just hate trying to impress a boy into making him think I'm better than his exes or what not. Everyone has their own expectations and interests. I'm me, I don't know if that will ever be good enough or not. When you meet someone new, it's always good at first, but what about five months from then, a year, 4 years. What happens? People lose interest and I'm completely scared of that happening. I know what it feels like to be on both ends of that situation and neither side feels good. I'm so insecure with relationships and I don't let it get in the way of having one, it's just that what I've been through scares me. I hide the fact that anything hurts me. I will tell you I'm fine when I'm really not. If you pay close attention you can actually tell if something is bothering me or not. I'm really affectionate and compassionate. I would love to have a Prince Charming. A Forever & Always. Boyfriends come and go, right? They are just boys that are friends. lol I'm currently listening to "Breathe" by Michelle Branch. This song is always in chick flicks, i would know! I highly recommend that you download it to your iPod, for me :] So when you are feeling horrible, you can just play this song and think " Jasmine was right, perfect." This song actually makes me want to stand on a rooftop and watch the city. Yeah, just like they do in the movies! Of course no music is playing in the background to make it the perfect moment. If only! So maybe Sunday I will take my cute little laptop and have a cup of coffee at Starbucks. Iced coffee, more than likely, since it's like hell outside.

"If I just breathe, let it fill the space between. I'll know everything is alright." - Michelle Branch

Here it goes.

Well, I’m stubborn as hell. I don’t like to be wrong and I will never give in first. I have that “I don’t give a fuck” mentality only because I don’t like to show any of my weaknesses. People, somehow, enjoy seeing others weak or upset. I actually happen to be very caring and I have so many emotions. It’s hard to let anyone close to me because it seems like every time I do, I end up regretting it. I hide my feelings so I don’t get hurt. I’m not too big on talking about my problems, I don’t really see the point of making a big deal out of them. “jasmine is a bitch” ha yeah I get that a lot. I don’t wake up in the morning and just decide I’m going to be a bitch today. It’s either we don’t have the same kind of sense of humor or you pissed me off. I’m always nice to people I don’t know or just met, it’s not being fake, it’s being nice because they never did anything to me to be rude. I try not to judge people either unless they give me a reason to. Disrespect is such a turn off to me and I automatically lose all my respect for you. I’m finally starting my life and I’m a little scared but I think I’m going to be okay. I want adventure and I plan to travel the world until the day I die. I have expensive taste and I hate shopping unless I have a lot of money to spend. I love all of my friends dearly and if anyone talks shit about them I get offended as well. It makes me SO mad when someone says they don’t like one of my friends because he/she is weird or by the clothes they wear. To me it’s about personality and obviously you don’t have a good one if you are going to say stupid shit like that. To my friends: I love you and I’ve learned so much from each of you guys individually. Some I’ve been friends with since I was learning how to count, some throughout the years and some just the last year of school. We became so close in a short amount of time and I truly am happy that I have a group of friends that all love being around each other. Whether it‘s sitting in a damn parking lot or chillin‘ at someone‘s house there is never a dull moment, (everyone just thinks they are a comedian) lol. And for everyone else I was friends with I appreciate having you in my life; good or bad. People deserve second chances right? but I think that you have to build up and gain that trust again if you want that second chance. Second chances shouldn’t be just handed out.